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Friday, September 18, 2009

~~~"BULLETPROOF....THE LIFESTYLE"~~~ rough draft

WILL THE PAIN EVER END?

Well its two days before Thanksgiving and the stock market is coming off two days of gains, that’s about where the good news seems to end. Lately everything appears as if it’s being directed by some higher power to cause me pain, and there’s no end in sight. I am in the process of filing for bankruptcy, and I am not sure if I’ll even be able to save my house. My name is Scott Edman I am 40 years old, married to a great woman named Jenny, and have a daughter named Megan. I’ve never gone bankrupt before and I’m not sure how it works or what my family’s life will be like afterward. Sometimes the feelings of failure and embarrassment are overwhelming. Although my family knows this is stressful for me, they have no idea how dark my thought’s get sometimes. I know everyone does not have a wife that’s as supportive as Jenny and I am sure that only adds to the pain for them. Unfortunately even with my wife’s support I am not doing well emotionally today. I am a union concrete finisher by trade and there’s usually less work in the winter time anyway, but with the economy in trouble I fear even spring may not release much work. So lately there’s a lot of time on my hands to think about how I could have done things different. Even worst is that I find myself looking for someone else I could blame. So today I decided I was going to start keeping a journal of this experience.