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Thursday, December 24, 2009

~~~~~"BULLETPROOF....THE LIFESTYLE"~~~~~ rough draft

WHAT WILL YOUR DEAL BE FOR?
     I want to write one more thing I heard about creating memories a while back.  A guy once told me, and to be honest I don’t remember who, that someday when your laying on your death bed and you know the end is near you will wish you could cut a deal.  The thing is this deal will not be for more money, fame, or power.  This deal will be for more memories with the people you care about.  You’ll wish that maybe instead of working so much overtime or building corporate power you had spent more time watching your kids grow when you had the chance.  I think this makes a lot of sense because who would really wish for more personal accomplishments at the end of their life instead of more good memories with special people.  Once again I know there has to be a balance of making a living vs. quality time with family, but this is something I definitely need to work on more.

Friday, December 18, 2009

~~~~~"BULLETPROOF....THE LIFESTYLE"~~~~~ rough draft

YOU SPEND TIME ON THINGS YOUR PROUD OF……THESE THINGS DEFINE WHO YOU ARE!
     I realize now that when you pride yourself on something, that’s basically you defining yourself.  If these things are unhealthy spiritually, or emotionally then your definition of yourself will also be unhealthy.  My mom has told me that I have an extremist personality and I don’t think I disagree.  This type of personality can work in your favor when doing something constructive, but if that extremist personality also effect’s areas of your life that are counterproductive (Or just downright bad) this can lead to disaster.  In my past years of partying there were times that I prided myself on being able to drink the most, or pick up the most girl’s, WHATS THE POINT IN THAT!  It was my extremist personality wanting to be the best at whatever I did, even if it was not such a noble cause.  The sport of wrestling was another source of pride for me in the past, and this source of pride was not counterproductive to life.  Once I started to show signs of being a good wrestler my extremist personality helped me to get even better.  However, even pride in an honest event can become bad if your actions become conceitful.  No one really wants to hear over and over about the great things you’re doing or have accomplished!  Unfortunately my actions became counterproductive after achieving a few small goals in wrestling

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

•••This is a draft of the "Introduction" page in my book Bulletproof ~ Lifestyle•••


~~~INTRODUCTION~~~
ABOUT ME.
    
     Hi, my name is Scotty Edman and I would like to welcome you on my journey!  When I first started this project (Nov. 2008), it felt like the world was coming to an end for me.  I had spent the last 20 years or so working and partying.  Giving little thought to God and what He wanted for me.  Even though I was raised in a Christian household, once my parents grip was not so tight on me I found ALL kinds of ways to get into trouble!
     The drinking started during High School when I was 17, if I remember right.  But shortly after graduating from school, I FOUND COCAINE!  This lead to all kinds of things that no parent would want for their child!  During this time (When I was around 21 years old), I became a father.  I’m not going to tell the story now, but I will say that I missed the first 15 years of her (Megan’s) life……..BECAUSE I WAS TOO BUSY BEING AN IDIOT!!!
     However, Megan did come into my life when I was 36 and had already found my soul mate….JENNY EDMAN.  I was married and trying to change, but still doing cocaine on occasion.  I had a job and my own business, so my life looked normal on the outside.  One weekend Megan was staying with Jenny and myself.  I had just got done building our dream house and decided to party it up a bit.  Next thing I knew, there was a tube stuck in my nose and I was in an ambulance!  If it wasn’t for the fact that Jenny found me hardly breathing…..I WOULD HAVE DIED THAT NIGHT!
     After getting out of the hospital I tried harder to be a better person.  And a few years later I found myself in the position to give up my job and become a self employed man.  This didn’t work out, and soon I was fighting for my life financially.  I was still (And will always be) suffering from the embarrassment of missing Megan’s childhood, the drug overdose, and going bankrupt now seemed like the final dagger!
     Thoughts of suicide soon were filling my days and I had to do something to stop them!  My sister Sheri had got me to join a local Church called Southfield.  And my brother Brian was talking me into taking better care of myself by weight lifting and running.  But I still felt like I needed to be doing something else!
     That’s when this journey started, IT WAS WRITING THAT GOD WANTED ME TO DO!  I have a story and it needs to be told.  At first this book didn’t really start out as a book, but rather my personal journal through pain and perceived failure.   Writing seemed to hold back my thoughts of suicide a little.  But as my writing’s went on, I started to realize some things in my own life that were “not quite right”.  Just writing down how I felt each day alone gave me some sort of peace.  But then when I went back and started reading my own writings, IT HAPPENED…….I STARTED TO REALIZE WHAT SCOTTY EDMAN HAD TO CHANGE! I began to understand what I was doing wrong,  and how to fix the problem.  I had tried listening to all kinds of people tell me what I was doing wrong but for some reason that just didn’t work for me.
I HAD TO FIGURE IT OUT FOR MYSELF!

ABOUT THE BOOK.
     “Bulletproof ~ The Lifestyle” starts out with my personal journey through pain and self correction. 
     This first part of the book is broken down into ? chapters.  During these writing’s I was in a VERY bad place emotionally and was struggling with daily thoughts of suicide. Eventually after writing for a few months I started to realize what REALLY made me happy in life, AND IT WASN’T WHAT I HAD THOUGHT!  Having a new way of looking at things helped greatly with beating my depression and after identifying and conquering my dark thoughts, I decided not to end there. 
     See, I was in the middle of a personal overhaul, and it wasn’t only my mind that needed some work.  I came to the conclusion that MY journey (maybe not yours, we are ALL different)  needed to include some other things.  Namely, religion and sports.  I had a lot to prove to myself as well as my family and just having a new attitude was not enough…….I NEEDED TO DO MORE!
     The second part of “Bulletproof~Lifestyle” is my journey to see this thing through to the end.  So what I did was write my life story and explain how I got into the position of thoughts of suicide in the first place.  While simultaneously journaling my progress with the religious and sports challenges I took on.
     I chose the challenges of reading the entire Bible…..front to back, and to run in the Chicago Marathon.  These were two things that I never thought I could accomplish in my wildest dreams!  The Bible is just too big, and to be quite honest……to hard of a read I always thought.  And running 26.2 miles after 20 some years of hard core partying, well……….that seemed like an even taller order!
     My writings start on Nov. 25th 2008 during the housing meltdown, and come to a conclusion on Oct. 13th, my wife Jenny’s Birthday and two days after the Chicago Marathon.
Now here’s the best part!
     At the end of each chapter are a few questions from me as well as a couple pages for YOU to write whatever you want.  Thoughts on my writings, what’s going on in your life, what you want to accomplish, anything!  Just start writin’ and you will be surprised how much and how quickly you learn about yourself!  And because you will be writing in this exact book…..
THIS MAKES US C0-AUTHORS!
          
     If you noticed on page ?, the “General Information” included’s:
AUTHOR   ~~~~~~~~~~   Scotty Edman
CO-AUTHOR ~~~~~~~
Go to page ? and sign as my co-author……sign here too if ya want! ~LOL~
     Congratulations!  We are now in this together  and it’s no secret that we ALL can use a little support once in a while.  Hopefully some of my writings will help you……. and if you want to return the favor, go to www.facebook.com/bulletprooflifestyle  and leave a comment, story, or verse for me.  I promise you one thing, if you answer my questions honestly…..and give honest writing of your own…..as you write you will start to realize what is, or at least should be…..
Important to YOUR personal happiness!

Thank You and Good Luck,
Scotty Edman

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

~~~~~"BULLETPROOF....THE LIFESTYLE"~~~~~ rough draft


     O.K. when I left off about a week ago with my story on partying I was in Florida, and prowling the beach for girls.  One day after walking down to the pier, I was sitting on a bench just enjoying the scenery when an older girl caught my eye.  She was beautiful with long dark hair, and had a friend with her.  Eventually they both came over and sat down not too far from where I was, and it didn’t take long for a conversation to arise.
     There was a Dairy Queen right there by the pier, so we got some ice cream, and they went on to tell me about all the “cool” stuff that went on in the Fort Meyer’s area.  Remember, I was 18 years old, and even though I didn’t know how old these girl’s were, I knew they were definitely older than me, and had a lot more experience with the world!  This only added to my curiosity about them, and made me want to be as “cool” as they seemed to me.  Most of their stories involved drinking, and partying, and they really seemed to “have it all figured out”.
     These girls wanted something from me, but at the time I had no idea what they were up too.  After about an hour of hearing all their stories, and starting to feel really comfortable with them, they asked me if I wanted to go for a ride.  They told me they had a house in town with a pool, and we could go “chill out” for a while. 
     This was great (at least I thought at the time) two older girls, that were telling me stories of things I had not experienced yet in life, WANTED TO SPEND TIME WITH ME!  To top it all off, they were HOT!
     As we walked out to their car things got even better, they drove a Porsche.  I don’t even remember their names anymore, but one of them jumped into the driver seat, and the other told me she would sit on my lap on the passenger side.  It was a red convertible, and even though I can’t remember their names, I do remember feeling like the king of the world as we drove over the bridge leaving Fort Meyers Beach.  I was in Florida, with hot girls, riding in a Porsche, how much cooler could I feel?!
     The girls cranked up the volume on the car stereo, and we all started wiggling around in our seats, dancing, and screaming out the words we knew to the songs on the radio. (There was no I-Pod back then)  Soon a song from David Lee Roth came on, most of you readers in your 30’s, 40’s, and even 50’s probably know, it’s called  “Just A Gigolo”.  In the song David sings “I’m just a gigolo, and everywhere I go…..”  thats his version of the song, but I was having so much fun, I decided to make up my own version.
     If you remember my story about why I did steroids, it involved the fact that my girlfriend at the time was dating a wrestler that had won a state title that I just missed.  Well, this girl’s name was Chris, and even though I had no right to be mad that she was dating my friend Joei, I still had a little jealousy inside me that I was dealing with.  So in my version of the song the lyrics went “I’m just a gigolo, and Chris will never know…..”  This gave me some immature feeling that I was not upset about Chris, and that she in fact didn’t know what she was missing…..STUPID HUH?
     Well anyway, the girl’s heard my version and said “What, you charge money for girls to be with you?” and in my euphoria I said “If they want to be with me, why not?”  This was about the biggest lie of my life! No girl had ever offered to pay money for my company, let alone have it actually happen!  But the girl’s just smiled and we kept driving toward their house.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

~~~~~"BULLETPROOF....THE LIFESTYLE"~~~~~ rough draft

THE STRIP CONTEST.

     O.K. after all the drinks at the college, along with the long island’s I had consumed, the strip contest was not looking so scary.  All the wrestlers were in one area of the bar and the guy’s I was with seemed to know a lot of the crowd.  I watched a few guys go up and do their thing, and every one of them was getting cheers and applause from the audience.
      Finally it was my turn!  I remember walking up on the stage feeling like some sort of movie star or something.  The light’s were shining in my face and it was dark out in the crowd so I couldn’t see them too well, but I could definitely hear them, and the wrestlers were making the most noise.  As the music started I began to move around and all of a sudden it hit me…. I CAN’T DANCE!  Nobody really seemed to care however, so I just kept trying to do my best.  I wouldn’t even call what I was doing dancing, it was more like a bodybuilder taking his clothes off while posing.  At that time in my life I was fairly muscular and well defined so I figured I’d use that to my advantage!  The music got so loud and I was so drunk that very quickly I didn’t even really notice anyone, or anything other than myself. 
     Eventually I was down to just my pants and I do remember hearing the roar of the crowd as I started to unzip them.  See a lot of the guy’s went up on stage but stopped after taking their shirt off.  But I wanted to win, and impress the wrestlers, so there was no way I was going to stop until it was just me, the stage, and Kip’s underwear!
      As I pulled off my pants and threw them to the side the crowd went nuts, but the song wasn’t over, so I just kept dancing around the best I could while striking a pose every few seconds.  A couple of the girl’s threw some money up on stage and then it was over.  As I walked off stage towards the guys, they all came and started high fiving me and yelling about how cool it was, and I do remember feeling “ON TOP OF THE WORLD” at the same time!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

~~~~~"BULLETPROOF....THE LIFESTYLE"~~~~~ rough draft

WHO CARES WHAT PEOPLE THINK……IT’S YOUR LIFE YOU’RE TRYING TO CHANGE!
      Years ago I had a conversation with someone trying to lose weight.  I don’t remember the person, but the story is still loud and clear.  This person had told me about all the trouble they were having with dieting.  Basically in the beginning their problems were the same as everyone else’s trying to lose weight….no surprise there!  Their results were also the same as everyone else’s….no surprise there either!  However they did eventually lose weight.  I asked how and the answer was something I would have never thought of.  “I carried a tooth brush and tooth paste with me wherever I went.”  The first thought that went through my head was something along the lines of “CRACKPOT”.  But after listening to the reason and observing the results, my mood soon turned to admiration!  The reason was because whenever they would get hungry to eat something that was not on the daily diet plan, the tooth brush would come out and the teeth got a cleaning.  This helped I was told, because when the teeth were freshly brushed the mouth felt clean and refreshed and some of the hunger demons were held at bay.  This is a great example of trying something to see if it works for you and it’s definitely not counterproductive even if it doesn’t work for you, because as most dentist’s would probably agree it’s not bad to brush your teeth a few times a day.  I must admit I do not currently employ this technique.  However I did try it a few times after the story was revealed to me…..IT WORKS!  At least it did for me, after brushing I had much less desire to go and eat.  This person obviously did something that worked for them and didn’t let the dummy’s like myself that were thinking “CRACKPOT” influence their drive to obtain a goal!
   

Friday, December 4, 2009

~~~~~"BULLETPROOF....THE LIFESTYLE"~~~~~ rough draft

IF WE ARE SO SMART, WHY DID THE PROBLEM EVEN BEGIN?
     The reason there are so many opinions on this issue just illustrates the complexity of it all.  I heard one of the government officials say “There is nothing to worry about in regards to the economic turndown, we have learned too much to let a major depression happen again.”  In all fairness this was said sometime back in October, 08 when all this was just starting. (At least as far as the American public knew.)  This individual however must have thought that he was smart enough to have all the answers on how to manage an economic system that’s global and constantly changing….good luck with that one buddy! 
     My point is that this crisis is just that, a crisis.  The ramifications of making more bad decisions are really unknown but clearly could be severe.  We have never been through something exactly like this and therefore don’t really know how to handle it for sure.  Super computers can make trillions of calculations per second so why don’t we just plug in the variables and let the answer come to us?  I’ll tell you why, it’s too complicated!  By the time all the variables were inputted into the computer Jesus would have come back!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

~~~~~"BULLETPROOF....THE LIFESTYLE"~~~~~ rough draft

IT’S OFFICIAL.
     I noticed one large manila envelope and it was from Greg Stern my bankruptcy lawyer.  After opening it and reading the first few sentences’ I soon realized it had happened, Jenny and I were officially bankrupt.  I knew Greg was in the process of filing for us but for some reason when I saw it in writing, Scott Edman-Jenny Edman bankruptcy filing notification, it really sank in.  I don’t know if I would have cried if I were alone, but Jenny was sitting right there so I blinked away the tears of disappointment and went on to the next piece of mail.
     As usual when Jenny left for work the house seemed so empty and lonely.  Megan was upstairs sleeping and I didn’t really have a good reason to wake her up other than for me to have someone to talk to, so I let her sleep.  Writing this morning just didn’t appeal to me but I needed to get out of the house, so off to the gym I went.
“When that year was over, they came to him the following year and said, We cannot hide from our Lord the fact that since our money is gone and our livestock belongs to you, there is nothing left for our Lord except our bodies and our land.”   Genesis 47:18  (NIV)

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

~~~~~"BULLETPROOF....THE LIFESTYLE"~~~~~ rough draft

MY FIRST TIME DRINKING ALCOHOL.
     After mentioning that I drink alcohol on occasion this morning, and then working out with Brian, I think today is the day I want to delve into my thoughts on “THE PARTY SCENE”
     I’m not even sure where to start…….O.K. I guess the party started for me when I was 17 years old.  Kids my age were starting to experiment with alcohol, and I was spending my summers with my parents in Michigan at the cottage.  My friend Mark Shelton was with me up there for most of the summer, and we spent our time fishing, swimming, sitting by the campfire, and hanging out with the neighbor girls.(Yes, the same ones that were playing volleyball when I proposed to Jenny)  Their names are Robin, and Renee, and I had a big crush on Robin.  We use to wait until it got dark and then play flashlight tag, using our yard and theirs as the boundary lines.  All the kids played, Brian, Sheri, Robin’s younger sister Reagan, as well as her younger brother Aaron, even other kids on the block joined in the fun.  I used to look forward to the times that Robin and I would end up hiding together, but when this was going on I thought she had no interest in me, so we spent time hanging out during the summer and that was about it.
     The next part of the story is a little fuzzy, but basically Mark and I got invited one day to go to a yacht club teen dance that was coming up soon.  I don’t remember exactly who all was going but the night started off driving through the woods, and going to the beach with alcohol.  We had a great time, but my extremist personality must have come out, because everyone else had a few drinks and enjoyed the night.  I however,  didn’t get to spend more than 1 minute inside the dance before a man came up to me and asked “Son, have you been drinking?”

Monday, November 30, 2009

~~~~~"BULLETPROOF....THE LIFESTYLE"~~~~~ rough draft

YOUR PLAN MAY NOT BE GOD’S PLAN.
     That brings me to today.  The strip mall has only one tenant, Hotstepper.net, an online shopping store my wife Jenny and I own, and decided to expand into a brick and mortar store.  My thinking was simple, put in my own store to get the ball rolling for the building.  Hotstepper.net would generate revenue in the form of rent for the building, and also show some activity to help bring in more tenants. That never materialized.
     Today (Nov. 8, 2008) the nation is in one of the worst recessions in decades, and on top of that there is a major credit crunch under way.  Our construction loan ran out in April of this year (2008), and the bank wants to know how we are going to pay up.  Hotstepper.net is closed; the store could not even afford to pay the $140,000 loan payment I got to open the store, let alone rent to the building. 
     So here I am with a house I leveraged to the top that I am now upside-down in, a strip mall with no tenet’s, and a closed store that still has a loan to the bank.  On top of that Jenny and I have basically been living on credit cards hoping something would change.
Even if I worked 60 hours a week as a concrete finisher it would not come close to paying all the bills.
     You now have a basic idea of what’s going on in my life and in my head.  I do believe God has a plan for all of us. Maybe that plan takes some time to figure out, and first you need to go through some of life’s up’s and down’s.  If you never experience life’s disappointments, how can you really begin to help someone else?  Everything in life can be looked at in many different ways, and its how you choose to see your life that makes the difference in what you will do in the future.  So I am trying to look at my life as one big learning experience.  I know there are people out there that would say I am just justifying my failure, and maybe to an extent their right.  But I am going to continue writing through this experience for two basic reasons.  
First; to help reinforce my belief that God does have something better planned for me.
Second; to try and understand these feelings better so maybe I can help someone else.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

~~~"BULLETPROOF....THE LIFESTYLE"~~~ rough draft

IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO START LOVING SOMEONE.
     Next we went to my Grandma Betty Klint’s house.  Grandpa (Bob Klint ) passed away in Feb. of 2000, but grandma continued to live in the same house they enjoyed together when he was alive.  When Jenny and I arrived, my daughter Megan was already there.  Megan is not Jenny’s blood daughter and she had spent the morning with her mom Cindy Kiefers side of the family.  I was looking forward to spending time with her on Thanksgiving so it was very nice to see her there already.  I am not going to write much about it today but in a nutshell Megan is 19 years old and came into my life about 3 ½ years ago when she was 15.  She lived in Florida until a few months ago (August 2008) but now lives with me.  I love her to death and am so happy she is part of my life now, but sometimes the feelings of guilt for not being part of her first 15 years is terrible.  I plan to explore my feelings and write more on the subject later, but not today.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

~~~"BULLETPROOF....THE LIFESTYLE"~~~ rough draft

FIX THE FOUNDATION ~“UNDERLYING PROBLEM”~ AND THE STRUCTURE WILL BE STRONGER.
     They were up and listening to my conversation with Mark!  This was bad; I had some explaining to do!  They didn’t come out of their room right away, in fact my Dad came out alone, and he waited until my phone call was over.  Probably because he figured more could be learned by listening to the conversation instead of putting an end to it.  What had happened was over, and there was no way to change that, so why not listen to as much as possible, and then try to fix the underlying problem.
     Anyway, as soon as he came out I knew something wasn’t right, the way he looked at me, the tone in his voice, or maybe just those darn instincts again.  He asked me to go out on the patio to talk, and right away I started trying to figure out what he heard, and what I was going to say.  It didn’t take long to realize that he either didn’t hear the whole conversation, or didn’t understand it.  Because he wanted to know:
IF I WAS DOING DRUGS!!!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

~~~"BULLETPROOF....THE LIFESTYLE"~~~ rough draft

     Anyway back to the story, Wanda and I drove down the road to an isolated spot that was usually used as our “inspiration point”.  I parked and asked her with a nervous, but concerned voice “O.K. were here, what’s up?”  I guess because she had stalled so long already, I was not expecting her to just blurt it out.  But that’s exactly what she did “I’m pregnant Scott!” as her eyes started to fill.
     Even though I already had an idea why we were going for a ride, it still threw me for a loop to actually hear the words.   I’m pregnant Scott….I’m pregnant Scott…. I’m pregnant Scott….I’m pregnant Scott….  The words must have echoed through my head a hundred times in about 10 seconds while we sat in silence!  I felt that jolt of heat a person feels when something shocks or embarrasses them, and for a second or so I even got a little dizzy.  After this 10 seconds of shock wore off the next emotion was FEAR!!!
How would I raise a child?
What will my family say?
Will her Dad kill me?
And then
I wonder if she’ll have an abortion???

Monday, November 23, 2009

~~~"BULLETPROOF....THE LIFESTYLE"~~~ rough draft

THE REAL MEANING OF “DARK”.


But even though I know this job is ending soon, and Jenny and I still may lose our house, my feelings are not really “DARK” anymore.

In the beginning of these writings I mentioned how my family knew that I was upset about this whole bankruptcy thing, but they didn’t really know how “DARK” my thoughts got some times. Well, the truth is something that I have not reveled to anyone, and up until today I wasn’t planning on putting in this journal because now it’s just so embarrassing to admit these thoughts were even going through my head a few months ago.

I thought maybe suicide was the answer.

I’ve prided myself a lot in the past on being a fairly tough guy that’s got life under control for the most part, and thought suicide was for losers…..people that weren’t strong enough to deal with the real world, and that’s why I’m so ashamed to admit these kind of thoughts entered my head.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

~~~"BULLETPROOF....THE LIFESTYLE"~~~ rough draft

SO YOU WANT IT FOR FREE?


The fact that I have been feeling better lately only adds to my belief on this subject. When I started these writings in November I was in a bad place emotionally. I was very embarrassed and upset that not only did the strip mall fail, but some friends and family were involved and they were going to be hurt financially by this. Don’t get me wrong, those feelings are still there, they didn’t go away totally…..BUT NOW THEIR IN PERSPECTIVE! I believe in my heart that they are getting better because I am putting an effort into it, and I don’t mean with alcohol or drugs. I mean with the help of God, my family, and these writings, I am slowly remembering what’s really important and at the same time feeling stronger and stronger fighting some of my temptations. We don’t expect people on this earth to give us things for free…..why do we so often expect God to??!!

Friday, November 20, 2009

~~~"BULLETPROOF....THE LIFESTYLE"~~~ rough draft

THESE ARE MY OPINIONS AND MINE ALONE.


So typing seemed like my only option, Jenny can type but she works all day and I don’t want to bother her once she comes home, especially when I really need something to do anyway. When I first started typing it would take me forever to find each key and I only used my index fingers. Now I seem to have the keyboard kind of memorized and am using my middle fingers also. Needless to say this still takes a long time, also I decided to add a heading every so often along with some bible verses’ and quotes I like. Now I’m typing directly into the computer, skipping the paper all together. I did correct a few sentences’ that seemed to run on or sounded funny to me, but the story is the same. No one except Jenny knows that I’m trying to write my way through these problems I’m having and I plan on keeping it that way.

The reason is that although I have decided to try my hand at being an author I’m still not sure how this will all come across to people, and if at the end of this financial crises I change my mind and decide to just keep this as my personal journal I will want it to be just that…..personal. Also I don’t want any help or opinions with the subject matter, I want to do this totally on my own and my statements to be straight from me and my feelings without any outside help.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

~~~"BULLETPROOF....THE LIFESTYLE"~~~ rough draft

WHAT WORKS FOR YOU.


These things can’t be accomplished sitting on the couch or lying in bed. The great martial artist and movie star Bruce Lee had a philosophy on working out that was “Use only that which works, and take it from any place you can find it.” Bruce was a fitness freak, but he realized that as great as he was….HE COULD BE BETTER. This led him to be constantly researching and trying new fitness techniques. Many people tried to tell him how he should approach fitness and sometimes it would work and sometimes it wouldn’t. If something worked for Bruce he stuck with it, even if people told him that he wasn’t doing it right. He didn’t follow the crowd; he did what he found to work for him. Also Bruce was smart enough to know that some things were not even worth trying. I mean what kind of person would believe that sitting on the couch eating or getting drunk at night would help you in your quest to improve your fitness level. I’ll tell you who, someone that lies to themselves.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

~~~"BULLETPROOF....THE LIFESTYLE"~~~ rough draft

Hi, my name is Scotty Edman and I would like to welcome you on my journey! When I first started this project (Nov. 2008), it felt like the world was coming to an end for me. I had spent the last 20 years or so working and partying. Giving little thought to God and what He wanted for me. Even though I was raised in a Christian household, once my parents grip was not so tight on me I found ALL kinds of ways to get into trouble!


The drinking started during High School parties when I was 17, if I remember right. But shortly after graduating from school, I FOUND COCAINE! This lead to all kinds of things that no parent would want for their child! During this time (When I was around 21 years old), I became a father. I’m not going to tell the story now, but I will say that I missed the first 15 years of her (Megan’s) life……..BECAUSE I WAS TOO BUSY BEING AN IDIOT!!!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

~~~"BULLETPROOF....THE LIFESTYLE"~~~ rough draft

YOU SPEND TIME ON THINGS YOUR PROUD OF……THESE THINGS DEFINE WHO YOU ARE!


I realize now that when you pride yourself on something, that’s basically you defining yourself. If these things are unhealthy spiritually, or emotionally then your definition of yourself will also be unhealthy. My mom has told me that I have an extremist personality and I don’t think I disagree. This type of personality can work in your favor when doing something constructive, but if that extremist personality also effect’s areas of your life that are counterproductive (Or just downright bad) this can lead to disaster. In my past years of partying there were times that I prided myself on being able to drink the most, or pick up the most girl’s, WHATS THE POINT IN THAT! It was my extremist personality wanting to be the best at whatever I did, even if it was not such a noble cause. The sport of wrestling was another source of pride for me in the past, and this source of pride was not counterproductive to life. Once I started to show signs of being a good wrestler my extremist personality helped me to get even better. However, even pride in an honest event can become bad if your actions become conceitful. No one really wants to hear over and over about the great things you’re doing or have accomplished! Unfortunately my actions became counterproductive after achieving a few small goals in wrestling.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

~~~"BULLETPROOF....THE LIFESTYLE"~~~ rough draft

YOUR BEHAVIORS WILL BECOME YOUR HABITS.


A persons behavior becomes their habits, and knowing this worries me even more due to the fact I don’t want to have these feelings of laziness with me the rest of my life. In many other areas of my life I’ve noticed this theory of behaviors becoming habits take place for the good as well as for the bad. This behavior of sleeping or lying around is definitely something I don’t want to become a habit. However the behavior of eating right, exercising, putting family first are just a few things that I would like to see become habits. Problem is once again it takes time, and if you stop doing a positive thing before it starts becoming a habit you will never know how doing a good thing could have affected your life.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

~~~"BULLETPROOF....THE LIFESTYLE"~~~ rough draft

O.K back to my story.


I’ve always had a theory on how to get most women if they held my basic principles and so far step one and two was working. See I figured most women want a guy they find attractive. Next most women like to laugh, have a good time and talk to someone that makes sense. I know I’m not the best looking guy, but I figured because Jenny had said yes to our first date I was covered there. Step one done. The part about having a good time, laughing, and good conversation also seemed to be happening without much effort on our first two dates. Step two, check. That leaves step three, the final step, this was a step that was usually reserved for someone I really liked and Jenny fit the bill! Step three was to introduce her to my family, and not just any old “come over and meet my mom and dad thing” I’m talking about inviting the girl to a family function that would make her feel like part of my family, if even just for the day. Like I said earlier, I consider my family to be one of the bright spots in my life, and even though I was spending much of my time drinking and partying, our family events are nothing of the sort. That’s why I said earlier if the girl shared my basic principals my three step process had a chance to work. I didn’t really think family parties should be drunken affairs and neither would any girl that shared my real principals. I can’t count the number of girls over the years that came from broken families and told me that they wish they could spend Christmas in a loving stable home like I had.

Monday, November 9, 2009

~~~"BULLETPROOF....THE LIFESTYLE"~~~ rough draft

ANALYZE IT, AND MOVE ON!


So every day I look for these things in life to distract myself from my own personal problems, however since the economy in general seems to be having its toughest time in decades while I simultaneously go through my toughest test financially I find it very hard not to fall into the “doom and gloom” mentality my mom has warned me about. I know that just sitting around thinking about all the things I could have done different doesn’t help much but “knowing” is way different than “doing”. I say it doesn’t help much because actually I do believe it does help a little. Failure in anything should be thought about and analyzed so you don’t make the same mistakes again, however once you have determined why and how things went wrong move on. I mean without thinking about your failure and being honest with yourself about why it happened you will most likely do it again. On the other hand obsessing about something you can’t change causes a lot of the problems I am personally experiencing right now in life, lack of drive, bad attitude, and just a general feeling of depression. I believe and understand these things in my heart so why am I still having such a hard time getting through this. If I just follow my own writings everything should be fine, but for some reason it’s not that simple.

Friday, September 18, 2009

~~~"BULLETPROOF....THE LIFESTYLE"~~~ rough draft

WILL THE PAIN EVER END?

Well its two days before Thanksgiving and the stock market is coming off two days of gains, that’s about where the good news seems to end. Lately everything appears as if it’s being directed by some higher power to cause me pain, and there’s no end in sight. I am in the process of filing for bankruptcy, and I am not sure if I’ll even be able to save my house. My name is Scott Edman I am 40 years old, married to a great woman named Jenny, and have a daughter named Megan. I’ve never gone bankrupt before and I’m not sure how it works or what my family’s life will be like afterward. Sometimes the feelings of failure and embarrassment are overwhelming. Although my family knows this is stressful for me, they have no idea how dark my thought’s get sometimes. I know everyone does not have a wife that’s as supportive as Jenny and I am sure that only adds to the pain for them. Unfortunately even with my wife’s support I am not doing well emotionally today. I am a union concrete finisher by trade and there’s usually less work in the winter time anyway, but with the economy in trouble I fear even spring may not release much work. So lately there’s a lot of time on my hands to think about how I could have done things different. Even worst is that I find myself looking for someone else I could blame. So today I decided I was going to start keeping a journal of this experience.